By Ankita Purohit
Is marriage really necessary for a woman?
Have you ever wondered how marriage would have been taken place in the history of mankind? It is estimated that the first humans that happened to live back about 5 and 1.8 million years ago didn’t have much to do with marriages. Both male and female had multiple partners and had sexual favors as a means to exchange food. Females were able to collect food (nuts, fruits, insects, etc.) for themselves and didn’t need males to do favor or being served as their protectors, and along with that, they were able to take care of babies as well, all alone.
Then there came a time when both males and females stopped wandering from one place to another for food. They started vegetation and hunting and settled under one shelter. Meat-based diet elevated the probability to reproduce children at an early age that required more attention and care. Between the time period of 1.8 million and 23,000 years ago, the human beings began to form a colony of people who lived in the same locality and the very first marriage came into existence. This assured that the males didn’t leave the females and equally took responsibility to take care of the whole family. The females on the other hand, were then confined to home only and were meant to look for all kinds of household activities. The couple would live together for three or four years OR until they wished to separate on consent.
The time fled and centuries after then earlier marriages were meant to fulfill the practical purposes such as to reproduce and build friendly terms between the two families. If a couple didn’t have kids, they wouldn’t be able to pass their inherited property to anyone. Only the humans were politically developed and due to this, the royal families too were indulged in accomplishing specific tasks. For instance, deciding the heir if they had sons and marry away their daughters to whom they wished would be politically beneficial, and marrying their sons too who just came into thrown with the girls belonging to other royal families. The types of marriages occurred back then didn’t cover meeting of the couples personally or getting to know each other at soul level. Most marriages were arranged by their parents to fulfill the religious, traditional, and/or political purposes.
The brief facts that I have revealed here do not specifically point towards a special gentry or race or geographical location. These are just as per the general terms that were observed by the historians on an overall basis.
At present, there is a time when almost everyone is getting educated, building a career, etc. late marriages are the common norms, both in men and women. But if a person decides to never get married then it creates a havoc, especially if it is a woman. In the early days, girls didn’t have much options as far as getting educated and career were concerned but today is the time when they are studying in renowned institutions and making a desired career they still have to marry even if they do not wish for the same. For most parents, it is a sort of achievement when their daughter(s) gets married because they are still bound by the age-old tradition.
In my opinion, it must be decided solely by the woman whether or not she is ready for marriage. And for that, she must assure her parents that she is financially, physically and emotionally strong enough to support herself for the rest of her life. Women are emotional beings and need mental support at times. Due to the same reason many regret later in life that they must have chosen for marrying, rather staying single. One must be sure about themselves what they actually want to accomplish in their life. If they do not have a firm decision on the subject, the likelihood of not getting better options increases, if they ever try to change their mind later. Moreover, everyone knows that it is also about marrying to a candidate who is really compatible, and not just a random individual.
Also, it is a proven fact that, if someone gets intensely connected to someone else for so many years tend to live much happier life than those who live entirely alone. Yet again, not marrying doesn’t imply that a person is not into any kind of relationship. Today’s modern culture has also given the chance to the couples to live together without the Wedlock. On the other hand, marriage doesn’t necessarily means that you love your spouse. Many couples live together due to society’s pressure and for the sake of their children, and not because they cannot live without each other. Marriages become complex when the couples are on a compromise since it is very difficult to get a divorce, especially in developing countries like India; this is the sole reason behind why many people like the idea of live-in relationships currently. This makes the situation less complex since in this case, they get separated whenever they wish to without involvement of any third parties.
People think that those women who don’t like the idea of marriage do not like having kids as well but this is not the case. They do like raising children but through adoption or sperm donors. And there are also many other women folks who want to stay alone without kids. The present society does not want to accept the new norms and hence the women are pressurized of getting married.
Most parents in countries like India want to marry away their daughters to provide them financial stability as well as protection so that if something happens, their daughter remains safe, failing to convey the message that their daughters are equally capable to handle any kind of situation. Moreover, if their daughter doesn’t marry, they have to face questions whether (or not) she is physically alright, or a homosexual perhaps! They hence simply want to shut everyone off. Furthermore, women also face peer pressure of “biological clock” from everywhere because after a certain age they cannot become pregnant, or nurture healthy offspring. This is why the concept of freezing eggs has been introduced recently which helps women explore their career without any worries.
Every woman belongs to some specific religion and community where they are told to maintain their existence so as to prevent their religion or race from extinction. The concept of not marrying stops everything. Women too are brainwashed in that manner, containing some who think out-of-the-box. With the growing population, it is now not mandatory to make babies. People have to think beyond the idea of religion, race, or community. They need to understand the fact that everyone is different and so does their thinking process. Therefore, forcing anyone to marry would always lead to unhappiness; which is quite opposite to what the parents think that marriage is the ultimate way to stay happy, and with time their daughter will probably learn to adjust.