By Ankita Purohit
What a modern woman wants to see in her potential partner?
Time has been changing and so does the attitude of people about each other. We cannot determine what will happen in the coming centuries because of the variations in the literature. This is the main reason why the previous generation would follow different cultural rules and why the new generation doesn’t. There are variations in their expectations as well.
Women, in particular, had modified themselves a lot and will keep doing this and that depends in which era they are living in. In ancient India, women would choose their grooms among a bunch of potential candidates. Then came a time when they were not allowed to even see their future partner until their own marriage. Then countless movements were initiated just to make a stoppage of existing norms that were outdated and didn’t support those who were ambitious and had different desires. Women empowerment is the superset of them all.
We still fight for justice because we fail to entirely change the society’s general viewpoints, but we cannot say that ALL women are deprived of their rights and still can’t think about choosing the right partner. We have moved ahead now. We see lots of examples of women being the sole breadwinner regardless of their current status; wear what they want, go for dating, file for divorce in case they are not happy, and so on.
A modern woman of current generation wants to see a few points in her partner if she is looking for a serious relationship or marriage, perhaps. There could be those who might not agree with all these but most of them will admit to most points. Following is the explanation in point-wise manner about what a modern woman wants to see in her partner.
What a modern woman wants to see in her partner?
- Educated/Intellectual: Although, one may consider it to have a number of degrees, but being educated simply implies to completing the education. It does not necessarily require multiple masters or Ph.D. Most women of this day and age would always prefer an educated person who knows how to use his skills the best way. He should be curious to know more, critical, analytical, and have problem-solving skills.
- Confident: A person with a confident attitude always seems compelling irrespective of his physical build and traits. A lot of men often complain why would women want to date douche bags, and friend-zone nerds; and the answer lies here. D-bags appear way more confident than those nice dudes. In majority of the cases, D-bags are jerks and seldom behave appropriately. This is realized by women really late and then they consider ALL men being knucklehead. If a person really wants to impress a woman, he must know that confidence matters a lot. This does not mean to become an unkind bully, but show that you don’t keep pleasing attitude.
- Mature and sensible: Maturity refers to understanding another person’s perspective and not getting stressed about baseless issues. It also implies forgiveness and moving on. Sensibility refers to being sensible of people’s emotions and not hurting them. Ever heard about “putting yourself in their shoes”? This is what it is.There are also men who behave like adolescents even in their late twenties or thirties. They would not reply their partner’s texts, wouldn’t call back, cancel/postpone dates, and do not prioritize their woman in general, after they have spent months in relationship. Those who have clear intentions of controlling are known to be insensitive and highly immature. These kinds of people would always confuse their partner. This is a strict no-no for a woman who wants to settle down.
- Ambitious: An ambitious person will always stay focused on his career and that is a good point to consider. If it is calculative then it is possible to balance his personal life as well.
One the contrary, multiplying wages isn’t a bad thing but it brings more nuisances, since it requires countless hours to dedicate, and personal freedom is compromised. High income is good for future savings, though high expectations may also reverse the whole thing. Women nowadays wants to see an ambitious creature who knows how to stay productive.
- Humble: This is one of the rarest things we find today. Everyone wants to stay supreme and most people wouldn’t shy away from faking their achievements. If a person is successful in public’s eye, his humble gesture can win many hearts. No woman wants to relate with an egocentric individual who brags about himself every now and then, or flaunts himself in a subtle way about his intelligence and/or physical build. These kinds of people also tend to compare their better halves with other women and set high expectations.
- Supportive: Every woman wants that whatever decision or choices she makes is respected. This starts from the types of clothes she wears to her selection of workplace, or the kind of career she chooses, and so on. Having a supportive partner is a big relief. On the contrary, if her spouse dictates in everything and judges her for being a real-self, he sounds too stubborn and society’s puppet. This brings nothing more than conflicts and misery.
- Respecting nature: A man who respects his woman is one of the most desired traits a modern woman wants to see. Being respectful towards somebody is evident through the body language. He would always consider her opinions about practical matters, would listen to her wants and needs, and definitely wouldn’t hit her. Know that domestic violence isn’t fictional! A person who does not respect women in general, can treat her in any manner; and physical and/or emotional form of abuse may involve. Now, the question is – How to find out? It’s pretty simple. Just notice his manners in front of those who are financially weak or hold no position in society. You will get your answer!
- Helping hand: Since women too earn wages and contribute nearly equal hours at workplace these days, they shouldn’t be expected to do all household chores. A little assistance while she cooks, does dishes, cleans the house, takes care of kids, would be of great help. Moreover, the mental boost she receives is tremendous since she can observe her partner reciprocating to her needs. This is one of the forms of caring attitude.Even a homemaker requires help lots of times. A lot of men would expect them to do EVERYTHING because this is what they are ‘supposed’ to do, but even they get tired or sick. What if she’s pregnant? In that case, they anticipate that their husband or other family member(s) would assist them, which is least likely.
- Strong character: Being in a strong character refers to staying true to everything. If somebody has made some kind of commitment he shouldn’t back off in the midway. It could be in terms of a relationship or professional terms while contributing in project(s) and working till the end. This determines whether he would stay or leave. Every woman desires this kind of person while entering into the department of wedlock.
- Honest and trustworthy: Everyone wants honesty. This is the foundation of a (legal) bonding. If an individual is a habitual liar then his partner loses trust with time and that is harmful for both the parties. A person ought to be able to express his true feelings rather than playing it in a diplomatic way. Sometimes providing real opinion sounds harsh. The method to express also matters. Anyone can speak in a straight forward way if the chosen words and the pitch of voice are calculative.
- Communicative: Most clashes happen because of suppressed emotions. People never say their wants and needs and keep holding grudges for lifetime. If both the parties are communicative, resolving fights would be a matter of time. A successful relation may involve lots of fights but they surely do not have hard feelings.
You may also hear women saying they love tall and handsome guys. Looks are based on how we perceive people. Appearing attractive isn’t a hard core fact, but a viewpoint. One may like a fair complexioned person, another may appreciate dusky individual more. There are people who are spiritual by nature and so appearance do not matter to them much. You get the point, didn’t you?
The term “modern” itself is a misunderstood term. Everyone is going to perceive and define it in his/her own way. Some would associate it with a kind of an individual who has her own terms and rules and wouldn’t adjust in accordance with her environment and people; others would link with education, clothing, etc. It simply means a person of today’s day and age who expects equality and has set new standards which do not corelate with age-old patriarchy. This is required because traditions only sound good if one is not bound to follow, else it is nothing more than an obstacle.
Each individual is different. Some people want to control others because of their leadership habits. Some people want to get controlled by others. This is all genetic. This applies to women as well. A dominating woman would be compatible with that kind of man who is subconsciously submissive, and vice versa.
There is a common stereotype that all women are gold diggers, which is NOT true. There are a lot of them who would always love to earn by themselves. I would still blame the society for creating gold diggers in the first place because of their saying – men are supposed to earn. Even all women aren’t perfect but everyone has a right to choose what they really expect. At the end, all women want to be loved, cared, and appreciated for what they do, or what kind of personality they hold. If she finds “the one”, she is going to improvise herself, and that happens eventually without any external push, no matter what her current circumstances are; since both the partners help each other to pinpoint their flaws they are going to get better. Ever heard “We both complete each other..” from someone you know?
