Rape – Myths and real facts related to sexual abuse

People to this day still have so many myths in their minds related to sexual abuse due to which they always blame the victim instead of the accused. The offenders use such myths as a weapon against the victim in order to keep them silent forever or defend themselves while in a custody to prove that whatever they did wasn’t a heinous crime, that it was merely a “mistake” and doesn’t require severe punishment. The society needs to be more aware regarding such stuff because these kinds of acts don’t seem to lessen and anyone could face this at any point of time. So, let’s start:

Myth 1: Sexual violence is limited to women and young girls only.

Fact: Any kind of sexual violence could be done against any gender of any age. This could be done by man over man, man over woman, or woman over man, or woman over woman.

Myth 2: Rape is done by those who are extremely addicted to sex.

Fact: Those people who keep extreme level of self ego and want to use power and control against anybody involve in such acts. Its all about manipulating somebody. Most rapists have sexual relationships available.

Myth 3: The victim didn’t stop the rapist and so he/she was enjoying the act.

Fact: All the victims revealed that they got “freezed” when the offender tried to manipulate them the way he/she wanted them to be or act in response. The term “freezed” implies to not able to  defend even if they wanted them to stop right away.

Myth 4: The victim was “asking for it” by wearing provocative clothes or being alcoholic, drug addict, etc.

Fact: These statements are generally used by the accused to defend him/herself but is far from the truth. There is no evidence to support the fact that only those women who reveal their body or get drunk are the only ones who face such things. If this was true women in the rural areas wouldn’t be harmed at all since they cover themselves from head to toe. Seeking drugs or alcohol by a person is his/her personal choice as per the circumstances they face on daily basis and the way they deal with their psychological issues which makes them easy target. If they do not drink, the abuser may somehow manage to provide them “date rape drug” or anything else so that he/she doesn’t have to put on lots of physical/mental pressure upon the target. The offender either encourages their target to drink or identifies the one who is already drunk, just to make sure that their intentions could be implemented easily. So, the habits don’t play the role. The abuser is going to make his/her target vulnerable as possible in any manner he/she finds easy.

Myth 5: Rapists are mentally ill or psychotic.

Fact: There are very few cases in which the accused are actually mentally ill and psychotic. Rapes generally is carried by those who are capable enough to pre-plan the acts and to hide the evidence as much as possible after they successfully accomplish that.

Myth 6: Most perpetrators are strangers.

Fact: Most perpetrators are actually known to victims. They are either relatives, neighbors, co-worker, partner, ex-partner, spouse, classmate or acquaintance.

Myth 7: Serial rapists are very rare.

Fact: Most perpetrators are habitual of threatening the victims through using violence or any other kind of manipulation as long as they desire.

Myth 8: If someone doesn’t fight back it won’t be categorized as rape.

Fact: Offenders sometimes use weapons to threaten their targets. So, to avoid extreme violence their target victims have to submit themselves. This does not mean that the victims weren’t uncomfortable during the act. They hate every moment of it and cannot accept the fact that they were unable to fight, every time they recall.

Myth 9: If a woman says no, it means yes.

Fact: Well, this is not a romance or a dating mission of anyone. This is about controlling someone without their own consent. If someone says no, it means no. End of the story!

Myth 10: If the victim, whether a man or a woman, had orgasm, then it is not an assault.

Fact: Orgasm is the natural biological reaction that nobody can control. This does not imply that the activity was consensual and they “enjoyed” it.

Myth 11: The LGBT community is more responsible for raping people.

Fact: There is no evidence that supports that LGBT (Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender) people are more involved in rape than the heterosexuals. In fact, it is quite opposite.

Myth 12: The lesbians, gays, bisexuals and transgenders deserve to get raped.

Fact: Again, the perpetrators use this statement as an excuse against these people to show their hate towards them. No one deserves to get raped, not even the prostitutes.

Myth 13: If a man is raped by a man, or woman gets raped by a woman, it means the victims in both the cases may become homosexuals or are already homosexuals.

Fact: Nothing changes anyone’s sexual orientation even if they are forced to do anything against their will. If the victims are straight they will be straight forever and any incidence wouldn’t change this. Even if they are homosexuals, it doesn’t imply that whatever happened is because of the same reason. Rape is an act of showing power upon someone by somebody. Period.

Myth 14: Sexual assault is often a mistake.

Fact: The offender is totally aware of whatever he/she is doing and by that means clearly it isn’t just a “mistake”. It is a very serious crime being done using the means of violence or any other kind of threats.

Myth 15: Sexual assault is done by uneducated and poor people.

Fact: The survey says total different story. Any person of any age and gender, whether or not they hold an educational qualification, may involve in raping somebody. These kinds of actions are the result of their mindset they hold based on the surroundings where they had their upbringing.

Above myths are very commonly thought by people and so they often blame the victims, including parents. People have to understand that it is not the victim’s fault, no matter what the situation was. The rape survivors already go through extreme mental trauma and the kind of reaction of people towards them plays a huge role in this. The negative reaction will lead to serious chronic depression or Rape Trauma Syndrome, and even suicides! The family and other closed relatives must provide them mental support and shield them whenever they find anyone making critical statements against them. This will help them recover fast.