What kind of psychology leads to molestation and rape? How to deal with that?
Nowadays the newspapers are flooded with news every now and then that a woman or a girl child is either molested, raped or murdered, questioning our legal system that are these actually doing their job or are beyond pathetic. Are the government authorities, police force and bureaucracy only responsible or we as citizens are lacking something? That is quite a fact that unless we are involved in such situations either directly or indirectly we don’t know whether or not we must trust the current law and order.
Let’s not talk about how a woman must dress while in public places for now, since it is a never ending debate and won’t satisfy an orthodox mentality. I practically heard a person saying that he can imagine a fully covered woman in his fantasies that has no limitations. This clearly entails his corrupted mindset. Now who is responsible for that?
Every person develops a kind of mindset that depends on the environment in which he had his bringing up plus the type of people with whom he spends most of the time. Also the type of life experiences everyone goes through have an impact on them, the way they deal with it. This does not mean that everyone learns whatever he sees while growing up. There are people who grow mature with time and do not support certain things that they observe on daily basis. They rather condemn that.
Think about the mentality of that person who does not consider molesting or raping a woman, a sin. What made him think that way? No parents teach their boys to harm someone but they do commit certain things that indirectly convey a wrong message, that they are somehow superior than the girls. They prioritize their sons in every possible way. If a couple has a daughter and a son, they provide more freedom to sons. They do not bother when their son is returning to home but restrict the daughter to be at home after a certain time limit. They won’t mind spending money on their son in coaching centers or renowned educational institutions, but will prefer marrying their daughter away if she asks the same amount of money even if she secures good grades than the son.
Another point is, in the countries like India providing sex education is still considered a taboo. The text books do contain such stuffs but most faculties either skip that part from the syllabus, or suggest the students to read by themselves, or speak very indirectly that no student actually understands a single word! When the kids become teenagers their curiosity intensifies to the extent that they do not stop until they find everything. They do ask their parents initially but find no luck. Since they do not know much about anything they usually get the wrong knowledge being collected from elsewhere. Parents too shy about saying anything so they ignore that part completely. There are also those types of kids who you won’t find curious at all even after they turn into adults, since such things are “bad acts”! This leads to suppression. With time people develop fantasies but do not practically encounter. One of the rapists of the famous Nirbhaya case wasn’t that much involved in sexual activity but he did it forcibly with that poor girl!
Since children spend most of their time in schools, among friends and homes, parents must always be aware of their daily activities. Meet their teachers and take monthly feedback about their behavior, studies and overall performance. Teach them not to differentiate between a boy and a girl. Teach your girls that they are capable to smash the suspicious party if they find something is terribly wrong, and teach your sons that girls aren’t weak but are strong in different ways. Provide them practical examples of those women who successfully achieved their goals and changed the world’s mindset.
As a teacher, you must always observe your children. Pay attention to the child if he or she is active and chirpy on daily basis but becomes serious all of a sudden. Talk with such children privately in a friendly manner. Contact his or her parents regarding this. Act neutral and avoid getting biased towards a particular gender.
As for the police force and the law and order the only reason behind their incapability is growing population with time but lack of recruits. There are several vacant posts in these fields that need to get fulfilled. Also the judiciary system is extremely slow. If you complain against the culprit for anything, chances are he is not going to get the punishment due to lack of proofs and/or witnesses and the case keeps on trial for years. This is also one of the reasons why some people get involved in wrong acts. They know they are not getting the punishment, especially if they belong to a well-known family. Well this does not mean that one must stop relying and not file an FIR. One has to be very patient. The thing is the government must do something so that a common person always has a faith.
We as a society must come forward to unite against the wrong acts. If something happens people go for candle marches but won’t bother if a girl is molested right in front of them. The recent incident in Bangalore indicates that only. There is a CCTV footage of a girl being taken away without her consent forcibly and no one cared. She somehow managed to escape but complained of the nearby public that they acted dumb when she was shouting and clearly giving signals for help. Just pledge from today that you are not going to tolerate any nuisance against anybody if you witness something. The world will become a better place if people unite against the evil. Always keep that in mind!